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not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #164379]

Mon, 16 August 2004 02:09

^
Messages: 791
Registered: July 2004

Member

howdy all,
just curious--i've seen a lot of threads about whether or not to walk down the aisle with dad, or mom, or FH, or alone... but can't find any info on not doing the whole "aisle" thing at all. is this b/c there's no other feasible way of getting to the front/center of the room without coming down a central aisle? can anyone suggest other alternatives? i don't plan on getting married in a church so i think i could configure chairs in lots of different ways, or just have everyone stand if the guest list is small enough. but that doesn't solve how to get myself and FH to the "altar" in the first place.
thoughts?

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #164400]

Mon, 16 August 2004 07:49

Papaya is currently offline

Papaya
Messages: 3451
Registered: August 2003

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I'm pretty sure I read wedding descriptions where the bride and groom came from the side, meeting in the middle. Is that a better option?

We're holding our ceremony on a tree platform, and the stairs to the platform run behind it. It seemed awkward to walk down the center, then turn and face the guests as we walk up the stairs (not that they'll have a direct view, but still). So we're cutting a path through the bramble and we'll enter in back, climb the stairs, and make our entrance on the platform. I'm not sure I'm making sense.

Here is a ridiculously overcomplicated diagram, where ___=our path, ***= the trees and bramble, (( ))=the tree platform and ^^^ are our guests.

___
***\******
****\*****
***(( ))***

^^^^ ^^^^
^^^^ ^^^^

Take the verticalness of the tree out of the equation and I think this is a viable alternative in the flat plane too.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #164431]

Mon, 16 August 2004 09:10

emilyfrog is currently offline

emilyfrog
Messages: 792
Registered: July 2004
Location: Pennsylvania

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We are not walking down an aisle. Both the ceremony and reception will take place in a long, narrow dining room with dinner tables at one end and DJ/dance area at the other. There are doors on either side, one set leading out to a patio and the other to the bar and the rest of the restaurant. I will meet FH in the foyer/bar area and we will walk out to the middle of the dance floor, where the ceremony will take place.

Do what makes sense for you and your FH, and the ceremony location.

CAUTION: Not recommended for use where personal safety or loss of property is involved. --package of twine

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #164505]

Mon, 16 August 2004 11:03

emijane
Messages: 2064
Registered: June 2003
Location: In the kitchen

Member

We'll be coming in from the house, therefore from the side and in front of the guests. I'm going to copy Papaya because that looks like fun. Smile

Smile

OK, no, I'm not, cos I suck at this.

Anyway, we are not delineating a center aisle at all. The guests will sit/stand in front of the apple tree where our ceremony will be held, and we will come in from the main house to the guests' left. All my aunts think this is wierd. Ah, well.

Bye. I'll miss you.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #169310]

Tue, 24 August 2004 14:29

swallow is currently offline

swallow
Messages: 986
Registered: May 2004

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At their very simple, beautiful and memorable wedding, some friends didn't just 'appear' after the guests assembled, they were out mingling before the ceremony, and marked the beginning of it by giving their parents in the front row hugs and kisses, with flowers for the moms. Clearly, this won't work if you want to preserve that element of surprise for your FH or guests.

I am not young enough to know everything - Oscar Wilde

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #169911]

Wed, 25 August 2004 12:35

blurry is currently offline

blurry
Messages: 92
Registered: November 2003

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We are thinking of doing this as well, mingling and then signaling the beginning of the ceremony somehow (we haven't figured that out yet). We are only 8, and it will be in a private room at a very small Inn, so I felt the aisle thing was a little too dramatic for what we are doing. We are still debating whether or not the guests should stand around in a circular fashion, or if they should be seated. We don't want them to get tired or restless, on the other hand I like the informality and the closeness of having them crowd around you, instead of the "stage-like" feel you get when they're all seated.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #173461]

Tue, 31 August 2004 16:29

kj
Messages: 544
Registered: June 2004
Location: canada

Member

This isn't the complete opposite of walking down the aisle, but I thought it was sort of a cool alternative: I read in the AntiBride Guide that a couple arranged the seats in a spiral. I can't remember if it was just the bride, or both of them, but you walked around the spiral to get to the center, where the vows were exchanged. That way you can walk by each guest individually, and also get married right in the centre Smile

Smile

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #175475]

Sat, 04 September 2004 06:38

Hells_Belle is currently offline

Hells_Belle
Messages: 1863
Registered: November 2003
Location: NY > London > Cork!

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We're having an aisle, but only because my Inner Princess really wants one. She also wants The Moment when FH sees her in her dress. (She's a total attention whore, that Inner Princess o'mine.) Having said that, we are meeting at the top of the aisle and walking down together, because it was important to us that we start our married life as we mean to go on: together.

My point is that even if you don't want an aisle, but you do want other things (like The Moment or whatever) you can work it out so that all of your desires are met and you still get up there and get married Smile

Smile

"As above, so below."
Poochie Poochie: Canine Couture | Hoochie Poochie: The Dog Blog!
Bartlet for President 2008

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #175598]

Sat, 04 September 2004 22:21

bakerbaker is currently offline

bakerbaker
Messages: 956
Registered: June 2004
Location: North Carolina

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Papaya wrote on Mon, 16 August 2004 08:49

I'm pretty sure I read wedding descriptions where the bride and groom came from the side, meeting in the middle. Is that a better option?

My college church had a setup like this -- there was one main aisle and two side aisles -- and in the years when I was imagining myself getting married there, I saw myself and my groom (of unknown identity at that point) coming up the two side aisles. I still like the idea; but the church I go to now only has one aisle, so what can you do.

I have been doing some reading on Catholic rites of marriage, and one thing I have found is that the Church actually does not encourage the Bride Walks Down the Aisle bit (this is similar to what Helles_Belle mentioned above):

Quote:

Many Catholic churches encourage the bride and groom to greet their guests as they enter the church for the ceremony. The processional may begin with the priest meeting the bride and groom at the entrance and then lead them and their attendants to the altar; or the priest and ministers proceed to the altar to receive the bride, groom and their attendants. (from weddingdetails.com)

So you're still walking down the aisle, you're just not Walking Down the Aisle.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #175641]

Sun, 05 September 2004 11:05

eengah is currently offline

eengah
Messages: 523
Registered: October 2003
Location: Minneapolis, MN/Oberlin, ...

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We're not doing the aisle thing. It's just not my gig.

Instead, we're going to be milling around with our guests as they arrive, and when we're ready to begin, we'll just go up front and start.

Maybe it's anticlimactic, but I'm not big on the drama.

deliciously.org | laurebecca.com

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #176699]

Wed, 08 September 2004 15:16

GracieB is currently offline

GracieB
Messages: 37
Registered: June 2004
Location: UK

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We only sort-of did the aisle thing. I met Fran by the main doors of the registry office and we led our guests in, and then we walked down a very small aisle together.
I enjoyed having the chance to say hi to everyone before the ceremony.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #176777]

Wed, 08 September 2004 16:56

persephoneflame is currently offline

persephoneflame
Messages: 10
Registered: September 2004
Location: San Antonio, Tx

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We'll be coming up the side aisles ("aisles" -- it's outdoors, so basically we'll be winging in and flanking our guests), me with my father and he with his mother. We'll meet in the middle.

We are also doing the pre-mingling thing. Our "cocktail hour" (ha!) will be before the ceremony to allow for a more celebratory feel. (Ok, and to let the sun go down. Texas. August. Outside. Enough said.)

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #177165]

Thu, 09 September 2004 13:46

rabbit is currently offline

rabbit
Messages: 428
Registered: April 2004
Location: Inland Empire

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Apparently when mr. rabbit's mother called the other day she insisted on being seated in the front row on the right side at the ceremony.

We're having a backyard ceremony, there is no aisle, there are no ushers, I don't give a crap where people sit. This is why my mother was insisting I figure out a seating arrangement for everyone, apparently some people really care where they sit.

I am content with everyone picking their own seat and sitting down when the officiant comes to the front. Wouldn't it be rather kindergartenish, and presumptuous to actually put names on the chairs? I understand for a seated reception but the ceremony?

How to make people happy but not be a pain in the butt for me?

mini-related rant/

mr. rabbit's mother was recently remarried (2.5 years ago) so she keeps talking about her wedding, how she did stuff, offering to help with stuff since she know how since she just got married. There is no way in hell that I would have a wedding in any way resembling the one she just had. Plus given the current state of her marriage it is hard to take her wedding talk seriously since the marriage is floundering.

/end rant

Oh, as far as getting to "our spots" for the ceremony, I think we'll pick one of three doors to walk out of just as everyone is getting seated. I would go out earlier but I have a feeling I'll be struggling to fix my hair up to the last minute.

edited to add missing words to incomplete phrases

[Updated on: Thu, 09 September 2004 13:49]

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #177173]

Thu, 09 September 2004 13:56

Larkin
Messages: 1586
Registered: June 2003

Member

rabbit, I just wanted to commiserate about the parental seating issues. I had a very informal wedding at a state park, and we had benches for people to sit on. I really didn't care where anyone sat.

However, my parents were fairly recently divorced, and my mom didn't want to sit near my dad (understandable, he was the one who left, blah blah blah). Fine, I don't care. But apparently my dad felt slighted because he was sitting "on the groom's side." I wasn't aware that there was a "groom's side", so this was asuprise to me. But there were hurt feelings about it, and it's something that sours my memory of the day (there was more that went into it, but this was definitely a part). Overall, I have great memories of the day, but if I had to do it over, I might give a little more thought to where everyone was going to sit.

Just my experience. I won't even start on the huge seating issues that got stirred up for my sister's recent wedding. Rolling Eyes

Rolling Eyes

seating DER

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #177401]

Thu, 09 September 2004 20:00

Hells_Belle is currently offline

Hells_Belle
Messages: 1863
Registered: November 2003
Location: NY > London > Cork!

Member

rabbit, we have a similar issue so we're putting "reserved" signs on the first two rows on either side for our parents and siblings, plus the flower child's grandmother in case said flower child decides she is bored and wants to sit down Smile

Smile

It's an easy thing to do if it wouldn't bother you at all. We're not having ushers, either, but I have asked one person to seat FH's mother (informally, as in just escort her to a chair) because she is the one all this fuss is about.

"As above, so below."
Poochie Poochie: Canine Couture | Hoochie Poochie: The Dog Blog!
Bartlet for President 2008

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #193024]

Sun, 10 October 2004 15:32

mrs.northeremilycarson is currently offline

mrs.northeremilycarson
Messages: 247
Registered: August 2004
Location: Beautiful Portland OR

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Yup, I did not want and aisle and the area where we are getting married and having the reception in this large circular yard with a path running along the outside, making a loop. All the tables and chairs will be in the center and we will be standing off to the side under an arbor with some flowers growing on it. I'm still not sure how people will hear us from the other side of the yard, but whatever. Rolling Eyes

Rolling Eyes

I just didn't want to do the aisle thing and it didn't seem logical given the space we chose.

As I am learning about this wedding thing I am learning to make it up as I go along, and I like it. Very Happy

Very Happy

"Behind every rich man you can find a crime, and looking at you sure brings a few to mind"
-Jeannie C. Riley, "We were raised on love"

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #193559]

Mon, 11 October 2004 17:45

Thoth is currently offline

Thoth
Messages: 502
Registered: October 2004

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I guess I've taken all the aisles you all are not having and using them for myself. For our outdoor ceremony were arranging the chairs so that there are three aisles. Mr. Thoth and his wedding party enter and walk down the right aisle (he wanted a big Walking Down the Aisle moment; he too has a bit of the inner princess). Me and mine walk down the left one. We meet at the chuppa, marry, and walk together out the center one. Yay for symbolism, all warm and fuzzy.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #193622]

Mon, 11 October 2004 19:54

^
Messages: 791
Registered: July 2004

Member

see, thoth, that actually appeals to me quite a bit--part of what i don't like about the whole aisle thing is that it seems so focused on making the wedding into a pageant, of which the bride is the star. i'd probably be more comfortable if both me and the mister had our own (simultaneous?) aisle walks, and i really like the symbolism of reserving the central aisle for our walk *out*, as a married couple.

i'm filing this in my "possibilities" mental folder--thanks! Smile

Smile

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #193838]

Wed, 13 October 2004 11:44

Thoth is currently offline

Thoth
Messages: 502
Registered: October 2004

Member

Yeah, thinkingahead, I was kind of iffy on the whole aisle thing for the same pageantry reasons. But I really wanted a way mark the beginning of the ceremony (a sort of clear delineation of our meaningful/sacred time and spaceI sound like an anthropologist every time I try to explain this) and this seemed a balanced approach.

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Re: not walking down "the aisle" at all? [message #295441]

Mon, 28 February 2005 00:59

tarren is currently offline

tarren
Messages: 854
Registered: February 2005
Location: Bay Area, USA

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I think I'm going to have me and my boyfriend walk in from two sides and meet in the middle, in front of the officiant. It's all in a botanic garden, so no space restrictions.
The wedding will actually be in front of a waterfall. Another nice option would be for the two of us to walk down next to the waterfall (together or on two sides). I'm not sure how that would work with all the fancy clothing and all the bushes, though...

Ah, and no procession. Just me and him walking - the bridesmaids and groomsmen (probably just one of each, anyway) just start out standing next to the officiant.

And, after hearing about all the relative-seating issues, I think I'll have the seats arranged without an aisle in the middle at all, or maybe with two instead of one, just to make sure it's obvious to everyone that we're not having a "groom's side" and "bride's side".

"don't worry what people think - they don't do it very often"

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