Kvetch » Monogamy » Promise ring?
| Promise ring? [message #101676] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 02:23  |
Disgruntled Goat
Messages: 255
Registered: March 2004
|
Member |
|
|
|
Tell me ladies, what do you think of promise rings? I have always thought they were a little juvenile, like wearing someone's pin or something, not really my cup of tea. But I am starting to consider it as perhaps the solution to my woes.
[Updated on: Wed, 07 April 2004 19:00]
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #101681] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 03:58  |
 Hells_Belle
Messages: 1863
Registered: November 2003
Location: NY > London > Cork! |
Member |
|
|
Oh! Handfasting! You should look into that. Wonderful, wonderful thing, handfasting :)
http://www.pooklaroux.com/fshfrite.html
These days you can find a million types of people to do your handfasting, and it needn't be neo-pagan in nature.
[Updated on: Mon, 29 March 2004 04:07]
"As above, so below."
Poochie Poochie: Canine Couture | Hoochie Poochie: The Dog Blog!
Bartlet for President 2008
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #101704] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 08:10 |
Cymbeline
Messages: 562
Registered: October 2003
Location: Toronto |
Member |
|
|
I've always associated the expression "promise ring" with young Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses, and other teenagers who are part of a group that proscribes pre- or nonmarital sex. My personal experience with it has been of the raised-eyebrow variety, because it was always treated as pre-engagement step--and if you want to get engaged, why not just do it and have a long engagement? Not unheard-of. But your situation is quite different than those, and it's not a pre-engagement sort of thing at all.
I'd take that website with a grain of salt--after all, they're promise ring vendors, and it's in their best interest to convince people that a promise ring means anything you want it to mean. Of course, you can attach any meaning you'd like, but you might also want to take into account the social baggage, too, if you decide to call them "promise rings." If anything, it would probably increase the frequency with which people ask you when you're planning on getting engaged/married/etc, which might be a nightmare for Mr. Goat.
I'm not quite sure what other advice to give you, but that's my two cents on promise rings. Other Indies--like Hells_Belle--who are more familiar with alternatives to traditional marriage might be able to help you a lot more. In the meantime:
{{{Disgrunted Goat}}}
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #101715] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 08:40 |
Hells_Belle
Messages: 1863
Registered: November 2003
Location: NY > London > Cork! |
Member |
|
|
Sorry, I was rushing out the door when I posted, I really should have taken more time but I didn't want to leave you with no answer!
A handfasting is a wonderful ritual, and it can be as akin to or as far from a traditional marriage ceramony as you like, though it is not legally binding. I actually think that is cool, because you can do it yourselves, with your own vows, or have anyone do it before a group of friends. You can make it as big a public committment or as small a private one as you like. You can exchange rings as well as bindings, or not. And if you do searches of handfasting and handfastening, you'll find loads of resources because this is not an uncommon thing.
I wrote a handfasting ceremony once, based on a source that's no longer online. I'll post it so you can get a sense of how much closer to traditional they can be than a lot of what you see online.
"As above, so below."
Poochie Poochie: Canine Couture | Hoochie Poochie: The Dog Blog!
Bartlet for President 2008
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #101717] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 08:42 |
Hells_Belle
Messages: 1863
Registered: November 2003
Location: NY > London > Cork! |
Member |
|
|
This is a holy place, for here life is touched by love, and love by life. Here now between you, Him and Her, lies hidden all the future of your lives together.
We are here today to declare the exchange of vows that bring together two halves of a circle. This unity is not entered into lightly, but is a reflection of your sincerity and commitment to each other. It is a sacred commitment between two people, held true by your faith in each other and in your future.
This is not the first cycle of your lives together. Rather than a new start, this ceremony represents a new season. Just as spring is a time of planting, and summer is a time of growth, this cycle represents the harvest of growth, a new phase in your lives together. Past successes, failures, disappointments and joys simply nourish this harvest, providing a rich and stable place from which to grow together as the cycle of life continues.
(To Him)
Him, is it your wish to take Her to your hand, your heart and your spirit, to desire her and be desired by her, to care for her and be cared for by her, and to gift her with your trust, respect and abiding love for all the days by which you are blessed?
Him: It is.
(To Her)
Her, is it your wish to take Him to your hand, your heart and your spirit, to desire him and be desired by him, to care for him and be cared for by him, and to gift him with your trust, respect and abiding love for all the days by which you are blessed?
Her: It is.
A ring is an unbroken circle, a symbol of unity and love. It is representative of the greater circle of life, having neither beginning nor end, but a continuous cycle of which you are both an element.
(Presentation of the rings by the celebrant)
This ring is a token of Her’s promise to be your companion, friend and lover. She offers it to you as she offers her vow of faith, love, and comfort. Will you accept this ring as a symbol of Her's vow this day?
Him: I will.
Her, please repeat after me:
Her: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.
As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always
that my heart lies within the circle of our life.
This ring is a token of Him’s promise to be your companion, friend and lover. He offers it to you as he offers his vow of faith, love, and comfort. Will you accept this ring as a symbol of Her's vow this day?
Her: I will
Him, please repeat after me:
Him: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.
As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always
that my heart lies within the circle of our life.
<joining of crossed hands and binding with ribbon by celebrant>
As the celebrant of the ceremony, I declare you hand-fasted for (insert your phrase here). Please bless your union with a kiss.
<the kiss>
May your future be full with deepening love. May you be at peace with one another, may you be at home wherever you dwell, and may you gather wisdom from all the seasons of your lives.
<release ribbon>
So will it be.
"As above, so below."
Poochie Poochie: Canine Couture | Hoochie Poochie: The Dog Blog!
Bartlet for President 2008
|
|
| | |
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #101758] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 10:02 |
ecodiva
Messages: 209
Registered: October 2003
Location: Minneapolis |
Member |
|
|
my boyfriend and i both wear rings as a symbol of our commitment, and they have nothing to do with the fact that we're planning on getting married. we've worn them since before the topic of marriage came up. we don't regard them as promise rings, but rather as tokens of love and symbols of our commitment (much the same as wedding rings are regarded). so i think wearing rings is a lovely idea, and they needn't imply anything about the future aside from the fact that you love each other and intend to do so for a very long time.
02.05.2005 (it's not a secret anymore!)
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #101850] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 11:53 |
merricontrary
Messages: 743
Registered: October 2003
Location: North Carolina |
Member |
|
|
How 'bout a Claddagh for both of you? They're so lovely, and whenever i see one, esp on the left ring finger, the first thing i think of is "attached".
from a claddagh-legend website:
| Quote: |
By tradition the ring is taken to signify the wish that Love and friendship should reign supreme. The hands signify friendship, the crown loyalty, and the heart love. The ring has become popular outside Connamera since the middle of the last century - its spread being helped by the vast exodus from the West during the great Famine in 1847-49. These rings were kept as heirlooms with great pride and passed from mother to daughter. Today, the ring is worn extensively across Ireland, either on the right hand with the heart turned outwards showing that the wearer is "fancy free" or with the heart turned inwards to denote that he or she is "spoken for". The pride of place is on the left hand, with the heart turned in, indicating that the wearer is happily married and the love and friendship will last forever, the two never separated.
|
note to self: stop procrastinating. starting tomorrow.
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #102031] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 15:37 |
KatzenDame
Messages: 809
Registered: August 2003
|
Member |
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 02 April 2004 19:01]
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring for marriage-like commitment? [message #102261] |
Mon, 29 March 2004 21:06 |
Disgruntled Goat
Messages: 255
Registered: March 2004
|
Member |
|
|
|
Thanks everyone, think i might go talk to me-old-goat about it, I am still pretty undecided. i have always liked Claddagh, actually years ago we knew a great couple where when they got engaged the man wore one, he loved it so, it was very special. So I think I am warming to this idea, but it's not quite hatched yet...
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring? [message #489795] |
Tue, 18 October 2005 19:16 |
theresa
Messages: 5
Registered: October 2005
|
Member |
|
|
This thread brought back a wonderful memory...
My Father gave me a 'promise ring' when I turned 13. He said that it was a promise to always be his little girl regardless of any boyfriend or husband.
I still wear this ring... it's a tiny diamond chip, but it's priceless to me.
theresa
Ginger Rodgers did everything Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels. Ann Richards
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring? [message #507118] |
Sat, 12 November 2005 11:45 |
marriedgrrrl
Messages: 168
Registered: October 2005
|
Member |
|
|
|
Disgruntled Goat, my husband gave me a promise ring when we had been dating for a few mos. I love it, and it means the world to me.
[Updated on: Sat, 25 March 2006 12:00]
|
|
|
| Re: Promise ring? [message #508493] |
Mon, 14 November 2005 23:56 |
*****
Messages: 408
Registered: November 2005
|
Member |
|
|
I say, if you're not ready to start planning a wedding but want to exchange some kind of token of your love with your significant other, go for it. Call it a promise ring, commitment ring, whatever you want. It'a about what you two make of it.
Based on my personal experience, though, know that if you do get some kind of non-engagement ring from your SO other people might be quick to assume that a wedding is just around the corner. My ex bought me a ring (two-tone white and yellow gold with a small heart in the center, and a small diamond in the center of the heart) that to us was meant as a simple token of affection. To my family, however, we might as well have announced our engagement with a 5-carat rock, because they seemed to take it as a sign that marriage was a matter of when instead of if.
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
Current Time: Tue Feb 9 07:44:47 CST 2010
Total time taken to generate the page: 0.21195 seconds |
Members
Search
FAQ
Register
Login
Home
E-mail to friend 
